My Most Contentious Contentions

If you think public speakers and communication coaches agree on everything, think again.

Throughout my 15 years running communications workshops, I’ve received pushback on some of my recommendations—but I always welcome questions and challenges. If we coaches aren’t open to learning and evolving, we underserve the leaders, clients, and students we support.

Here are 10 of my recommendations that get the most pushback, and why I stand by them.

1. Don’t perform.

   Presenting and performing are very different approaches. Presenting focuses on your point and your delivery, while performing focuses on your image and your talent.

   That’s why we typically say speakers “deliver” speeches, not “perform” them. Actors, magicians, and singers entertain. Speakers deliver ideas.

2. Follow up stories with the point they illustrate.

   Some consultants say a well-told story conveys its own point, but I disagree.

   Just as you should always explain the conclusion of data, you should reinforce the point of a story with a simple follow-up like “This story illustrates …” or “This case study proves …”

   A story about a failed launch is memorable, but unless you clarify the takeaway—“This story illustrates why we now always test the concept before releasing it”—audiences may remember the story but miss the lesson.

   Ultimately, you want your audience to remember your point more than your story because your biggest goal isn’t to be riveting, it’s to be relevant.

3. Don’t write out speeches word for word.

   Unless you’re giving a keynote, a highly technical speech, or using a teleprompter, having a word-for-word script is usually a disadvantage.

   First, using a full script puts your brain in “read” mode, not “present” mode, diminishing your passion and emotion unless you’re a trained actor.

   Reading also creates distance between you and your audience, and memorizing a speech can backfire catastrophically. For instance, your brain might go blank as you try to remember the exact phrasing you wrote.

   Finally, know that your writing and speaking voices sound substantially different. If you speak in your writing voice—which is usually more academic and less conversational than your speaking voice—audiences may perceive that voice as artificial and pretentious.

4. Don’t preplan gestures or vocal variety.

   Yes, you should use functional gestures and avoid monotone delivery, but let your passion and conviction drive those decisions naturally in the moment versus planning them ahead of time.

   The more you manufacture these moments in advance, the more robotic and forced they will seem.

5. Raise your volume.

   Research on vocal perception consistently shows audiences perceive louder voices as more confident and authoritative, something I see every time I run a simple exercise in my workshops.

   I ask a volunteer to say their name and a point “uncomfortably loud.” I then ask the other attendees to share how their impression of that speaker changed. Every time, they describe the speaker as not just more audible, but more confident, authoritative, knowledgeable, and assertive. Whether or not speakers feel that way, they project those positive attributes when they increase their volume.

   Your biggest goal isn’t to be riveting, it’s to be relevant.

   Is this advice unfair to soft-spoken people? Perhaps, but there’s no arguing that louder volume signals energy and confidence, and even a small increase makes a difference.

   My female clients sometimes share a fear that increasing their volume will make some perceive them as aggressive. But mistaking assertion for aggression when women speak is a sexist bias that speakers should ignore, not accommodate.

6. Not every “ah” or “um” is a problem.

   I’ve softened my stance on crutch or filler words over the years because some vocal imperfections can increase perceived authenticity.

   Filler words like “ah,” “um,” and “so” only distract if they become noticeable. For me, the most valuable information you can get from a speaker who uses crutch words is knowing which filler words they most often overuse—not how often they utter them. Knowing this makes it easier for speakers to reduce the most glaring fillers.

7. Bullets on a slide are fine.

   Don’t dismiss a template just because it’s old. Bullets still improve clarity so long as you use five or fewer bullets per slide and simplify the text in each to convey only the most essential words and ideas.

   Also, some members of your audience process visual information better than they can process spoken information, and benefit from seeing the points you’re saying. (I’m one of them!)

8. The most important element on your slide is the title.

   Where does your audience look if they’ve lost track of your point? How do they keep the “why” of your slide in mind? The slide title—the header of your slide—should answer both questions.

   Broad slide titles like “History,” “Data,” and “Partners” don’t work hard enough. They merely categorize, not convey, the point of the page.

   • Instead of a title like “History,” think, “Three Decisions That Shaped Our Growth”
   • Instead of “Data,” think, “24% of Readers Regularly Read Digital Books”
   • Instead of “Partners,” think, “Extending Our Reach Through Strategic Partnerships”

9. You’re NOT afraid of public speaking.

   Surprise! Most people aren’t afraid of public speaking itself; they’re afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of others, which is why you may be just as afraid of singing or telling jokes in public.

   Understanding this distinction matters because it moves the challenge from an innate flaw (“I’m a terrible public speaker”) to a buildable skill (“I need to increase my confidence”).

10. Public speaking is not a soft skill.

    Until humans evolve to communicate telepathically, oral communication will always be a vital skill. Through public speaking—in a room or on Zoom—we communicate what should happen, why it matters, and how to deal with it. That’s important stuff, which is why—whether you’re leading or learning—you should always be open to improving.

You may disagree with some of these recommendations—and that’s fine. The goal of communication coaching isn’t to end debate, but to keep refining the ideas and tactics that help audiences understand, remember, and act on your point.

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